And it was not an April's Fool Day joke...

This is one of those most unexpected and eagerly anticipated event in my life. Actually, to be frank, my mind is quite topsy turvy now after all the emotional roller coaster over the last few months. Who would have thought...

I've always figured that kids would come naturally when i wanted to have them. When mook and i got married, we had a plan. 2 years of our own lives before having a little one or two, then i will quit to take care of kids or work part-time. Sounds perfect and that's exactly what we did till towards the end of the two years, we started to get a nagging feeling that perhaps little ones don't just appear as readily as we thought they might. It wasn't so much of the fact that girlfriends around me and my age were starting to pop, as frequently as popcorns, but that odd nudging feeling that things may be more complicated for us than others. Based on that intuition, we had check-ups despite the fact that we were both just trying only for a couple of months.

At first, some said that we should just give it a little more time, but in a way, i am glad we didn't listen because as it turned out, we do need help in this area. In any case, chances were slim (though not impossible) if we were to conceive naturally. I had a hard time grappling with the fact and spent nights crying about it while mook tried to console me. Thankfully, my ob-gyn was a really positive lady and she gave us options immediately, medication first, and if not, possible procedures to follow. Main thing is, we are still young and if any thing was to be done, at least we will have a higher chance of success. I think i really latched on to that hope though i knew mook was more cautious and slightly overwhelmed.

All that was 2 months ago. Over the last two months, there were times when i tried to convinced myself that children may not be the necessity in my life and that mook & i could still have a fulfilling life of our own, just the two of us. I tried to picture the two of us travelling, enjoying our lives independently without cares but there will be days where i would become unreasonably upset and moody about myself. On the good days, mook and i would laugh at our 'stress' and fill them with funny dreams of living on salmon in Helsinki. On bad days, i would bitch at him and say horrible things because i thought he didnt want to have kids as much as i do or that he was bias towards the ob-gyn & her recommendations. In fact it was a week of the 'bad days' when i finally thought that something is not quite 'right'.

So far, we had been following what the gynae suggested with the ovu-kit and meds but somehow, by the 1st month or so, i am already trying to adjust my own thinking (including my family's expectation) so that none of us would be too disappointed. By the 2nd month, both me and mook are both pretty strained trying to be nonchalent yet, internally feeling more and more upset with ourselves. It was in the midst of that period of not really sure how to comfort each other and yet having to appear 'normal' that i realized that my menses was overdue. It was only 2 days or so and i didn't want to get my hopes up but somehow, last saturday, when i went to get the refills for the ovu-kit, i just picked up a test kit as well.

I was supposed to be conducting a workshop that saturday but perhaps i just wanted to get the bad news over and done with, i did the test just before the workshop started. I think i nearly fainted when two lines appeared instead of the usual 1 (i am quite accustomed to seeing the single blue line, but two lines? that's something new...) In any case, i did complete the workshop in one piece but it took me one whole day before i could mention it to mook who thought that i ought to do another test a few days later since i had medication for a cold just the day before. We went to get another test kit (with two tests this time, i think we were just a bit KS about this), and despite mook's idea that i should repeat the test 3 days later, i did another one on sunday night and this time round it was a + sign appearing.

Two tests in two days. I doubt panadol could change the result of a preg test and the box did say it shouldnt. Thankfully my gynae had a slot to see me on monday and while she thought that 2 tests cant be wrong, she agreed to do a blood test to confirm it just for my peace of mind. The positive results were confirmed a day later when the doc called me personally. :))) Mook and I told our families over the phone and we had similar reactions, some asked if it was an April Fool's joke. Hahaha, as if we would joke about a thing like that!!

My mom was even better. When i first called her in China, she just told me how she 'already knew' because God has spoken to her and gave her signs. She told me how her prayers had come true. But just a few minutes later after she put down the phone to call my brother (who is in HK) and he commented that i could be pulling an april fool's prank... the faithful one had to call my darling hubby just to confirmed that i am indeed pregnant and not pulling anyone's legs. Mook's dad apparently had the same reaction. But all in all, once we reassured everyone that I am indeed 'knocked up', everyone in the family has been wonderfully happy for us and encouraging.

So yes, mook and i are going to be parents! :))