First Trimester Screening

Went for a check-up with the gynae today and the option of doing screening for foetal abnormality came up. A while back we have already decided that we would go for the screening because a cousin of mine had a baby with Down Syndrome. When the doctor spoke of the option to me today, nonetheless, my heart was still pretty jittery despite that the choice was already made.

My work in a special school prepared me in some ways that age is actually not the only deciding factor when a child is born with special needs. Unlike some parents who thought that as long as they are below 35, their baby will be okie, i've seen parents even as young as 18 giving birth to a child with DS. I don't know if this is a blessing or a curse that i know so much about children being born with special needs. On one hand, i know what to look out for and can prepare myself mentally should anything happens, on the other hand, i am also frightfully aware of all the things that could potentially go wrong during pregnancy, during birth, after birth.

I find myself having to balance between being realistic and maintaining a positive outlook. My parents being staunch christians put everything unto their faith in God while i guess my in-laws probably don't think anything bad will happen to us or the baby and has prayed to their gods about it as well. I don't know about mook but being an agnostic, i guess it is not as easy to think the same. Yet, it is time like this i do sometimes wish that i have a strong spiritual faith to help insulate me. However, that said, at the end of the day, i am not looking for 'insulation' because bad things do happen regardless of faith (IMHO) and damn if i am going to have my head stuck in the sand thinking that it will never happen to me when it does.

I guess i am a realist at heart.