The beginning - as told by daddy...

Day 0

The labour was close to 10 hours. Or rather we were in the labour ward for that duration. She had been dilating slowly throughout the day and towards the last hour, one of the midwifes had to help with the dilation. I'd almost thought that she'd pop the following day.

The gyne arrived at about 10.45 pm and told the wife that all she needed by 11 pm were 3 pushes. 2 midwifes were assisting by pushing on each side of the wife's tummy.

By the 2nd push, he paused to ask me what was the make of the camera I was using and commented that since he had not seen it before it must be new. I was dumbstruck for a good 5 seconds and lost the focusing on the camera. I had too lost track of the 3rd push, only to realise the baby will soon be out as the gyne reached for his 'favourite' vacuum plug.

The gyne barked over my wife's raised legs, telling me to ready the camera for the 'moment'.

***

She kind of 'slipped out' with the final push.

The gyne was almost directing my shoot from the front of the wife's legs.

'Set it on multiple!'
'Here's the head, look!'
'Out. Here you go!'
'Shoot shoot!'
'Take the time, the clock's behind you.'

My camera swung from place to place.
Got the baby, got the blood, got the wife, got the clock.
I'd lost focus on the camera but I didn't quite care. It's the Moment, right?

In a seamless flow, the midwives were dabbing and wiping her while inserting the tubes in all orifices to suck out the fluids. She cried and cried, then paused momentarily to open her eyes for the first time, peeking into the World.


I went 'wowowowow' and broke into a few 'hos'. I was tongue tied. Vocabulary eluded me. The wife was slightly better...at least she went 'Oh my, oh my....hello baby.'

The gyne had deftly snipped the cord and I was looking up down the little one, checking for hands, fingers, legs, toes, ears, nose...just making sure she's got them all.

The gyne then proceeded to draw the cord blood for our donation and had the placenta removed. I took a glance at the blue-purplish blob of placenta on the tray and failed to understand how anyone would process and consume it. I wasn't sure if the wife felt the gyne stitching her up after this. She was just looking over her shoulders, watching the midwife clean up Avery.


The midwife had her wiped down and prepared to give her her first jab. I alternated between shooting and assuring my wife.

The stitching took a while more (those were really big surgical hooks!), in the meantime, she was bringing the house down with her cries.

***

The midwife brought her to the wife.

It was indescribable that the pregnancy had ended and we were looking at our baby, our firstborn for the very first time. I don't know how the wife felt when she cuddled her for the first time. As i recalled mine, i was awkward, afraid that I would mishandle and injure my fragile dearest.
The stitching got done, and the gyne recommended a ped for Avery.
He got round to all the paperwork and gave me a firm handshake and a pat on my back.

'Congratulations.'

Avery was all swaddled by now and we were told that she'd be wheeled to the nursery on Level 6 and the wife had to stay put for 2 more hours for further observation. I followed the midwife and was briefed of the procedures for retrieving her from the nursery.

It's already 10 minutes past midnight when i called the folks to let them know of Avery's birth. Guess that officially makes me a father and them, grandparents.

***

We popped!

Well, Avery Tan Ying Xi... Welcome to the world darling. :)

37 weeks and counting

37 weeks.. or is it 38 now? Almost 38 i think. Sort of lost count after these days. Yes, pregnancy amnesia has finally hit me.

I am as big as can be. Okie... thanks to those who say that i don't look that big and making me feel better but the scales can't be wrong. All in all, i've put on 15kgs from the start of my pregnancy till now. There may be another spurt of weight gain but let's hope that it just bbump.

Bbump is about 3kg last week. Holding it stable for 2 weeks but that could change at next doc's appt next tues (there was a pasta lunch sometime during the week). But hey, bbump may be out by then! Except, if bbump is really coming, please do it on Monday and not the weekend, cos' mummy wanna go watch Avenue Q on sunday. :P

Family is sort of holding their breath and waiting for me to pop anyday now. I am still going to work (today is my last day since next week will be school hols anyway and i start to clear leave then). Bros will call and ask "Water bag broken yet?". Parents-in-law commented that they are not sure if we will be doing our weekly weekend dinner for the coming sunday (could pop then you know). My mom insist that she thinks bbump as descended though it felt otherwise to me.

So how am i feeling? Bbump is wiggling rather actively most of the time and the tendency is for me to feel a leg (or some limb) kicking out at the side of my waist on the right. Must be quite a tight squeeze. Am getting mixed feelings such as wanting to pop ASAP (but no... not before Ave Q!!!) and worried that once bbump is here, my life will go haywire starting from confinement (mothers from both side will be presiding). Sigh. Doc mentioned that bbump may be a big baby *groan* so asking me to consider epidural.

I am not that gungho anyway so i guess depends on how much i can tolerate first before going to hospital (doc warned to go only when STRONG pain but what's STRONG pain??). If "strong" pain already when i reached hospital and only less than 4cm dilated, i say give me the epi. Cannot imagine cannot tahan already and still more than half way to go. But say if's journey half done, then at least it make sense to 'diong' all the way.

In any case for now, i am still feeling pretty... normal. No funny sensation or anything. Sorted out work things before starting my leave (the reports i have to vet, the minutes i have to write, the emails i have to clear... sigh). Arranged for cordblood to be donated to the Singapore Cordblood Bank. Didn't think to spend $$ and store the cordblood for personal use but since they take donations, may help other people in future. Who knows? Finished packing my bag for the hospital and making sure necessary documents are packed (need real marriage cert or photocopy will do?). Got bbump's room ready but i think the test will be when bbump is back and the taking-care stars.

So... that's it. Just waiting for bbump to pop out. First decision bbump will ever make. That's cool.

34 weeks and counting...

We more or less confirmed bbump's chinese name but still looking for an AngMo name but if don't have also nevermind i guess.

We have confirmed the gender too at last week's visit to the doc. He also did a 3D scan and printed the side profile of bbump for us. Took a while because the placenta kept and cord kept getting in the way but the doc managed to snap a pretty decent side profile. It really cheered my mom up.

We are happy to say that bbump is doing well and at the moment, weighs 2 kg, more or less. The stuff we needed to buy is also almost done. Will need to wash the nappies and clothings. My mom made bbump two chinese patchwork coverlets. Very very cute. She also made a fluffy cotton mattress, bolster, pillows and a special tea leave pillow. Will need to also sun them and the cot mattress donated by a colleague of mine.

Looks like everything is ready, set... We will just wait for bbump to say 'go' in a 4-6 weeks time. Before that, must remember to pack the bag for hospital but i think i have some time left.

26 weeks and counting

Last consultation with the doctor during my 25th week showed that Baby Bump (still no name yet!!) is growing proportionally and having no major issues other than being smaller than it ought to (2 weeks smaller to be precise). I am not sure what kind of measurements norm the machine compared to but i guess Mook and I are still abit concerned.

Generally, i think i put on a bit of weight. 6 months into my pregnancy and i think my total weight gain is about 9-10kg. That's like 1.67kg per month but now i am not sure how much is me and how much is the baby. I am wondering if i am one of those mommies that suck in the nutrients instead of the baby. Eeuch. That's abit unfair since the only reason i am consoling myself for the weight gain is that it is all for the baby. And now, Mook is trying to make me pig out so that baby can grow more (durians being one of the things offered on the menu - eeuch eeuch eeuch!). But i am thinking i might be the only one ' benefitting' from the pigging out and who will be lumped with the excess weight at the end of the day? Me!

So poor Baby Bump, not like mummy is trying to starve you or anything (you should see the look on daddy mook's face directed at me when he talk to you about growing big and strong) but it is okie for you to fight mummy for the nutrients okie? Infact, take ALL of it! Mummy wants you to grow big and strong too, though not via the durian path. Eeuch.

Off our asses, and out shopping.

Well, we are finally on our start to get stuff for Baby Bump. A colleague of mine is going to donate her cot to me (her 3 kids have outgrown it) which saved me some money since it is still in good condition. Was also shopping at the recent Taka Baby Fair. Mook actually made me rush down early at 10am on National day (fair opens at 10) to avoid crowds and pick up the bargains. Baby Bump may grow up as Singaporean as daddy, with that unique brand of "patrotism" but i think i will try to keep it in check.

Mook has sussed out the advert the day before (i think he kept a copy of the advert too) and our main target would be the stroller which is going for $388 after discount (original price is 500 plus i think). After 3 hours of looking and comparing (well, i took a few breaks in between while he carried on), we finally got the stroller that was advertised, as well as the corresponding car seat/carrier. Other stuff we threw in the mix were: 1 Avent electric bottle senitizer (bundled with bottles, teats and whatnots), nursing pads, extra bottles/teats & milk powder container and hypoallegenic shampoo/body wash for baby. Bill came up to over 900 plus just for those stuff. Anyway, by the end of 3 hours, i am just glad that at least it is free delivery and we had two toy xylophones & one bath towel (& 5 chances to win $5000 in a lucky draw) tossed in as well.

In any case, i think that's about all right? Diapers i am sure i can get at Sheng Siong and the likes... Friend did mention about the breast pumps (electric? manual? handsfree??? - the last will really make me feel like a cow) and Mook was thinking of going back to the fair before it ends on the 24th. Sigh. I am tempted to order online (based on friend's recommendation) instead of thronging through the crowds again. Heard that it is cheaper in the USA. Wonder who i can ask to help send back if i order online, possibly Baby Bump's little aunty who is now working in NY. Throwing in Fedex charges, may work out to be cheaper, since the model i saw cost about USD$200+++ . Can't remember who told me that good pumps are going for 7-800bux locally.

Roll eyes.

Well, Baby Bump, you better appreciate all these pumps and strollers and whatnots when you are out here because buying them and spending the money is stressing mommy out. I think just for that, no toys for you for 2 years. *hrump*

Week 23 and counting

Mook says that i don't blog enough about baby bump. Well, i did invite him to write but then, i guess he is even more lazy than me. All he really wants to do is to take photos of my tummy but so far, i have been politely declining because he wants to do those Demi Moorish type of photos. *roll eyes*

Anyway, so far so good with baby bump. I am "showing" and i think it is because i have taken to wearing back my polo-tees instead of those 'roomy' shirts. People seems abit shock to see how obvious my tummy is but i think its just that i have been 'hiding' it quite well. Baby is not that big yet and it is not like i am shy to show my tummy, i just don't quite like the 'in between' stage where people can't quite discern if you are really pregnant or just fat. Now, since it is quite obvious that i am pregnant, so it's back to 'flaunting' it.

Baby bump been moving around quite actively at night and i am starting to feel the weight. I wonder how much more 'weight' i will have to carry by the time this pregnancy is over. Anyway, i am back to training at the gym and swimming once a week. My usual personal trainer has been quite good, working on building up my back and pelvic muscles (for bearing the extra weight and of course the delivery). Sessions has been quite relaxing since i can't go beyond heart rate of 140. After gym i will pop down for a swim at the condo... just relax and massage my muscles at the jacuzzi.

Quite the eng eng cheng cheng lifestyle. Hahaha no wonder people tell me to enjoy the pregnancy. I always wondered if pregnancy will bring with it some sense of enjoyable (not that i realize there is anything tangibly enjoyable about it) but it is really to enjoy myself before the endless waking up at night and caring for the baby once it's arrived. Anyway, 船到桥头，自然直。We will see how it all goes.

20 weeks and counting

Today i felt the baby kicking (or punching) and it was surreal. Now i know what others mean when they say its a feeling can't quite be mistaken. When it happened, i was just sitting at the computer doing my work for the afternoon's workshop. All of a sudden, there was this "poke" right at the bottom of my navel area. I nearly slided off my chair. Well, there have been instances over the last 2 weeks where i felt 'movements' but this was much more intense... and strange. Makes me wonder what baby is doing inside my tummy. Exercising?

Everyone has been advicing me to talk to baby. Mook talks to baby everyday by placing his face right next to my tummy (when he is not at reservist, that is). I told him to use a toilet roll as an amplifier so that baby can hear him clearly instead of all that muttering. I am still feeling a little funny having to talk to baby out loud though now is about time that baby is learning to discern different sounds. I do think to the baby alot but i guess it is not quite the same. Guess i will have to be abit more vocal.

Other advice i had recently including playing nursery rhymes and classical music for the baby, as well as look at cute baby pictures (for fairer skins and bigger eyes). But all i have been listening to are my Mayday's CDs (a rocker baby perhaps?) and chinese oldies. As for cute baby pictures... unfortunately i went to watch hellboy instead. It is not sceptism or anything... i guess i am just not a very.. erm.. kancheong sort of person. I haven't wanted to shop for maternity clothes and stuff, or buy baby things. Mook has more initiative when it comes to things like that. I am just prodding along, not quite frenzied by the imminent arrival of baby in 4 months time. Or perhaps the last minute bug will bite only at the.. well, last minute?

I wondered if there's anything wrong with me... not being kancheong that is. Now that all the tests and things turned out fine for baby, i am just relieved and happy. Those are the only things i really worried about. Guess, it could be my personality as well. Since when did i show much remote interest in shopping and buying things? That's why i have mook right? Still, perhaps it is time i take more action and stop being too laid back... maybe baby is also getting restless that i am not displaying some sort of obvious urgency for its arrival. *ouch*

Clothing Anxiety

Geez... i don't know what to wear...

Hmm more like i've got nothing to wear for work. Tried some of my friend's stuff, either too big (for later i guess) or not 'work-ish'. And my mom is not back yet.

Well. Baby Bump is getting bigger and showing. Colleague just came back and said, "Oooo so cute" and pat pat on my tummy. *peng san* Honest to god.. it is not _that_ big... is it? Maybe it is the two Mr bean pancakes i ate this morning :(

Mook has been wanting to take photos of the bump but i am feeling alittle bit down. Gosh, suddenly felt like i am all 'bump' and nothing else. He said it is for 'documentation' and evidence for Baby Bump to know where he came from. Well, not sure what's in it for me really... Do I really need to have reminders of a growing tummy? Perhaps some women might enjoy that, but i have never much like having my own photos taken... esp when they don't look that good. And as if photos are not bad enough, Mook actually would like to VIDEO the whole birthing process (ala more documentation). Why do i suddenly feel like one of his art work? Well, maybe in essence, he does feel like i am. I threatened to bite him if he brings a videocam anywhere near me when i am in hospital. I have a feeling i am most probably going to be not in very good mood during that time.

Ahh....

Growing Bump

Just back from Bintan and feeling like it was too short a holiday. Wish i could say that it was a nausea-free holiday but still managed to throw up like once a day. Not too bad already i guess but the return ferry was a bit rocky at the last 1/2 hour, so by the time i got home, i was getting all pukish again.

In all trip was fun. Not sure if baby bump had fun but it certainly has grown abit. So far i havent had the need to change my warerobe and still fitting into my regular stuff but the last two days, i definitely noted a pretty well-defined bump below the navel. Looks like i will have to start changing my pants soon. Thankfully a good friend pass me some of her maternity wear, and my mom just called to tell me that she picked out some work pants for me from Korea and China. Guess that about settles it for the clothing side of things.

People has been asking me about the gender of the baby which honestly, i still don't know. Doc said it may be possible to see something in the next appointment when baby is after four months old but i guess this kind of thing also depends on baby's 'mood'. As for our preference... aiya, as long as healthy, its okie boy or girl. That said, i think if its a girl, i may need more help because i am not sure if i am the 'pink and barbie' type of mummy, since "rough and tumble" is more my cup of tea due to my personality. Hahaha oh well.. no kids of mine will be playing with barbies anyway (mook did wondered if that will make them more 'deprived' *snort*).

The older folks all said that they don't really mind if boy or girl, but i think secretly they would all like to have a boy. As my dad said, if first child is a boy, that will be a lot less stress for the mother aka me, cos' after all, mook is the only son and eldest grandson of the family. Anyway, this kind of thing not up to us and in this day and age, frankly, i think everyone will be happy as long as both me and baby are fine. :)

Week 15

Couple of good news...

1) First trimester screening results came back and everything is fine. Both me and mook are relieve but we are also treating this with 平常心 because this is only one of the many worries and hurdles which we will have to go through. After all, developmental problems can happen anytime during pregnancy, during birth and after birth. Test for toxoplasmosis was also negative. I suspected as much since Ruskie is a house cat who doesnt mix with other felines and the only food he eats is premium cat biscuits. :P Blood sugar is abit low but that's normal since i was still throwing up alot when i did the blood tests.

2) My nausea is 'almost' gone. Hurray! Was throwing up 6-7 times a day last couple of weeks everytime i tried to put anything into my mouth (food or fluid). Now, its mostly in the evening, which means that i at least get to keep my lunch in. With more stable food intake, i am also starting to regain back my weight steadily. Good thing is i haven't had much food cravings. The only serious food cravings so far was once for 豆浆油条 and last night, for roast duck leg. Hopefully i will crave for more healthy stuff instead of all the oily and bad-for-health stuff. I try to eat healthier for lunch and mook has been making me eat fish, except the smell of fish really makes me gag and throw up. Yuck. Looks like those things i don't like before pregnancy, i STILL don't like while pregnant. Hahaha

3) I can finally go on a trip now that my first trimester is over. Mook is booking a short getaway for us at Angsana Resort and Spa in Bintan next week and i am so looking forward to it. Finally i get to chill out and go swimming now that i have more energy and less throwing up (hopefully it will stop altogether by next week). Crossing my fingers! I really need a break i think and so does Mook. Sigh...

Baby bump is 15 weeks old now and at the last scanning, it was 7cm and we could see the baby moving rather actively as the doc run the ultra-sound scanner around the tummy. The baby has distinct fingers and arms, and it was waving the arms about as the doc 'irritates' it trying to get a decent scan of its neck and spine. Heh heh heh.

Week 10

Week 10 and counting!

Been quite tired and pukish (as usual) but the last two days, by some odd miracle, i was feeling great. No sign of vomitting and i ate pretty well. That said, today i was back to my old self and nauseous again. Maybe it was that i slept really early on the two days i felt better. I am going to try that today and see if tomorrow i will be feeling better.

Work is tiring me out even though now i am done with lecturing. The marking of assignments however, has been a huge problem. I can't seem to focus on reading anything (even the newspaper) much less someone's assignment paper. I can't exactly do them during normal work hours because of.. well, normal work. And once i reached home, i am usually pukish and concussed. As for the weekends, I had to drag myself to do the marketing with mook and maid, though it often ended up with me throwing up by the roadside (i get car sick) while they go get what needs to be gotten. After which, i am concussed again for the afternoons till dinner time.

I wonder if all pregnancies are that tiring. Another colleague of mine seems fine and doesn't really puke much even though she, like me, is in the 1st trimester. However, she said she have awful cramps which i am thankful that i don't. Another friend shared similar fatigueness but there also those who don't seem to get so washed out like i am currently facing.

Anyway, mook has been really really good and helpful, such as volunteering to do most, if not all, the housework. I guess he feels really sorry for me everytime he see me run to the toilet and retch/throw up. Sometimes i feel sorry for myself too but i guess its all part and parcel of things so i am still coping.

Saturday 26th April

I brought baby bump to 'listen' to Mayday's Concert (of course, i am doing the watching). Wah.. feeling damn high but also damn tired. Used to be that i could stand and jump for 3 hours straight during their concert, but now, barely 15minutes and i am feeling giddy and tired, so had to sit down periodically. Chewing on antacids helped for a bit with the nausea but the fatigue is something i have no handle over. So here i am watching my idols having a whale of a time but at the same time feeling damn sick and wondering when the concert will be ending.

God, when will the 1st trimester be over?

First Trimester Screening

Went for a check-up with the gynae today and the option of doing screening for foetal abnormality came up. A while back we have already decided that we would go for the screening because a cousin of mine had a baby with Down Syndrome. When the doctor spoke of the option to me today, nonetheless, my heart was still pretty jittery despite that the choice was already made.

My work in a special school prepared me in some ways that age is actually not the only deciding factor when a child is born with special needs. Unlike some parents who thought that as long as they are below 35, their baby will be okie, i've seen parents even as young as 18 giving birth to a child with DS. I don't know if this is a blessing or a curse that i know so much about children being born with special needs. On one hand, i know what to look out for and can prepare myself mentally should anything happens, on the other hand, i am also frightfully aware of all the things that could potentially go wrong during pregnancy, during birth, after birth.

I find myself having to balance between being realistic and maintaining a positive outlook. My parents being staunch christians put everything unto their faith in God while i guess my in-laws probably don't think anything bad will happen to us or the baby and has prayed to their gods about it as well. I don't know about mook but being an agnostic, i guess it is not as easy to think the same. Yet, it is time like this i do sometimes wish that i have a strong spiritual faith to help insulate me. However, that said, at the end of the day, i am not looking for 'insulation' because bad things do happen regardless of faith (IMHO) and damn if i am going to have my head stuck in the sand thinking that it will never happen to me when it does.

I guess i am a realist at heart.

Home Leave

Put on MC for 3 days by doc because i am dehydrated. How not to be dehydrated when everything you put into your body comes right back out again? I am still trying to get a handle of the nausea and vomitting. And it hit me quite badly over the last week. Almost the whole day i felt like puking or if nothing to puke, burp like the devil who just had tacos. It's not fun and it makes me feel car-sickish even when i am not in a car. Guess now i know how people who gets sea-sick feels like.

This is a new sensation for me since i hardly get sea-sick. Everynight i will go to bed feeling like a sailor who had just disembarked from his slow junkboat. A few times i swore that the bed really moved (well, it does have wheels afterall). Now my best friend in bed isnt my darling mook, but my trusty axbrand medicated oil which i rub liberally on my nose, my temples and my chest. For some reason, i thought the 'heat' may help disperse the 'gas' there but mook say he will just get me that wind-banishing oil from the tv commercial (you know, the one that had the little girl lovingly tell her mom that she went "ptoo"). Not sure if it will work but heck, anything to help me feel less like a giant gas-bag.

So now, i am supposed to rest at home and take little sips of water. The doc also gave me some 'unproven' advice which he said worked for most of his clients, like drinking ribena, avoiding things that trigger nausea (e.g. brushing teeth in the morning??), eating crackers instead of soupy stuff that will make the stomach churn more, taking walks after meals, trial and error with all sort of food and taste to see what i crave for (e.g. spicy, sour etc), eating whenever i am feeling okie, drinking coffee (no more than 2 cups a day - including any caffeinated drinks) etc. At this rate, i am most willing to try anything just to stop losing weight.

Before pregnancy, i was around 58-59kg in Feb (and that's after trying to diet and eat less when i saw my weight shot past 60 in Jan). Now, in April, i am 56kg without even trying. Doc say its mainly water and its normal, well, didnt feel too normal to me because i am seriously not putting much food inside my body. I am still eating supplements like folic acid and VitB6, as well as taking juice etc for the vit c whenever i can for the baby. But i don't like this nuah nuah feeling like i am walking on a boat the whole time. Hopefully it is really the 1st trimester thingy and it will be over once and for all (cross fingers) in another month or so.

Baby bump is 8 weeks and counting.

Green Bean

Yesterday went to another gynae recommended by colleague's mom whose a nurse. Seems like a pretty prominent doc with years of experience. Saw a couple of 'celebs' photos of them and their kids also. Thought the whole experience was not bad, the doc was straight-forward, no-nonsense type but quite fatherly. Was telling mook that he probably will scold his patients if they don't have common-sense or when they don't listen to him. But he was very thorough during the consultation and examination. The terms he used was also very funny. For example, during the ultra-sound, he kept calling the egg sac "baby house" and "bank". Mook thought it was quite cute while i am trying hard not to giggle while i have something sticking up my you-know-what.

Anyway, finally we had a look at baby bump. Now at 6 weeks old, he/she is as big as a green bean but there was a pretty steady pulse. I made a probably silly comment like, if the pulse was mine instead of the baby's and the doc promptly told me that my heart isnt so low down, only a male's heart would be. Took me and mook a split second to realize that the doc was joking. Then it was another round of me trying hard not to giggle while mook gave me a look from behind the doc.

So 6 weeks old and pretty much everything is proceeding normally. Doc gave me some pills to help with my vomitting though he did threaten to put me on a drip eventually if i don't start to keep food down. Also had a lengthy lecture on danger signs to look out for and medication to take should i feel cramps (told doc that i felt occasional discomfort and was immediately told to take those things seriously). Also had Vit B6 prescribed together with the usual folic acid and schedule for another appointment in 2 weeks time because doc will be going on holiday after that and wanted to monitor how i am before that. I think he also wanted to talk to me a little bit about baby's development and screening because of i had a cousin who delivered a baby with down syndrome.

In any case, me and mook is now in the process of deciding which doc we should continue with. The nice younger lady doc who treats everyone like a friend or this older male doc with experience with the funny sense of humour.

Decisions decisions decisions.

Hormonal ups and downs

Morning baby bump...

I think mummy is finally getting the reality of having you inside me. You might be tiny now but you have no idea what kind of havoc you have been creating in mummy's body ever since you found a snug (i hope it is) place to grow for the next few months.

One thing you will learn about mummy is that, she loves food but hates to be fat. Unfortunately, it is in mummy's genes that what mummy eats, usually ends up padding up her thighs and arms (don't laugh, because it probably means you will be the same too). If you look at 婆婆，you will know that the gene breds true from mother to daughter. 公公,on the other hand, is like a beanpole. Daddy Mook has it better because his mommy and daddy (that's 爷爷奶奶 to you) are pretty slim so though daddy mook gets chubby whenever he gets lazy, he usually loses it quite quickly if he decide to be hardworking and go jogging again. So let's hope that you will be like daddy mook in this aspect.

Anyway, mummy loves food and will usually have to diet because of the reasons above so that she doesnt suddenly become like 婆婆. But these days, mummy has not felt like eating much and that's really REALLY rare so she has been losing weight even though she wasn't trying to. If mummy doesnt know that she is pregnant, she would have thought that she was being really sick. You are now 5 weeks old and mummy has lost about 2 kg since the time. Initially it was just a lost of appetite but just today, mummy realized that baby bump has another surprise for her: nausea, which led to throwing up, even if there isnt anything to throw up.

Mummy is not blaming you baby bump because well, i guess it shows that you are there and mummy's body is trying hard to adjust to you growing. Though mummy love to lose some weight but she is a little worried that you wont be getting enough nutrients if mummy can't keep her food down. Guess, that's where the supplements and milk comes in even though mummy usually gag when drinking milk, and even daddy mook is surprised that mummy would drink milk voluntarily (and trying hard to keep it down).

There are other things that's changing with mummy now such as always being tired and sleepy (strange for a late nighter like me), having sore nipples (ouch) and a sudden outbreak of pimples (mummy's complexion is usually quite good). So life's a little topsy-turvy still but i am coping so far. However, i really hope that the nausea thing could end soon. But as i was talking to other aunties who had babies, looks like mummy will have to bear with it for the next few weeks or so. Hopefully by the time you are 13 weeks old, mummy will be able to enjoy eating food again.

Note to baby bump

I know that baby bump is only 4 weeks old and it will be another 8 weeks before we could say that things are stable. Even after that, anything could happen before birth, during birth, after birth. There is just so much to think about but all i know now is, i am so happy and i just want to tell that baby bump inside me..


Grow well baby bump.. be healthy and strong. Both me and your daddy mook is so looking forward to meeting you and it seems like such a long time before we can see your face and fight over who you look like. But before that, i am going to take good care of myself with the help of your daddy and grannies and granddads and greatgrandma and uncles and auntie so that you can grow peacefully in your own time, inside me. There are so much things out here which we want to show you but right now, you have to just trust me when i say that you will like being here with me and ur daddy mook.

Even though you are inside now and i don't think you will hear me till later, but i think when you do, you will probably find that mommy can have a really big temper but don't worry, because daddy mook is quite good at making mommy laugh and be happy again. I think you will like daddy mook alot because he is going to show you all his toys like his ultra-brothers though i am not sure if he will let you play with them. And if you are a girl, i doubt that it will matter either because daddy mook has rather funny ideas about what's fun for a child. While inside, you may also hear mommy talk alot to 'ruskie'. I must warn you first that 'ruskie' has a rather bad temper (like mommy) but he is really one of the silliest and funniest (as well as fat) cat around.

Mommy doesnt really know how the next few months is going to be like. I just want you to be safe and to know that you are doing okie. This is something that the both of us will be going through so let's just help each other along until the day you are ready to meet everyone okie?

Love you baby bump...

And it was not an April's Fool Day joke...

This is one of those most unexpected and eagerly anticipated event in my life. Actually, to be frank, my mind is quite topsy turvy now after all the emotional roller coaster over the last few months. Who would have thought...

I've always figured that kids would come naturally when i wanted to have them. When mook and i got married, we had a plan. 2 years of our own lives before having a little one or two, then i will quit to take care of kids or work part-time. Sounds perfect and that's exactly what we did till towards the end of the two years, we started to get a nagging feeling that perhaps little ones don't just appear as readily as we thought they might. It wasn't so much of the fact that girlfriends around me and my age were starting to pop, as frequently as popcorns, but that odd nudging feeling that things may be more complicated for us than others. Based on that intuition, we had check-ups despite the fact that we were both just trying only for a couple of months.

At first, some said that we should just give it a little more time, but in a way, i am glad we didn't listen because as it turned out, we do need help in this area. In any case, chances were slim (though not impossible) if we were to conceive naturally. I had a hard time grappling with the fact and spent nights crying about it while mook tried to console me. Thankfully, my ob-gyn was a really positive lady and she gave us options immediately, medication first, and if not, possible procedures to follow. Main thing is, we are still young and if any thing was to be done, at least we will have a higher chance of success. I think i really latched on to that hope though i knew mook was more cautious and slightly overwhelmed.

All that was 2 months ago. Over the last two months, there were times when i tried to convinced myself that children may not be the necessity in my life and that mook & i could still have a fulfilling life of our own, just the two of us. I tried to picture the two of us travelling, enjoying our lives independently without cares but there will be days where i would become unreasonably upset and moody about myself. On the good days, mook and i would laugh at our 'stress' and fill them with funny dreams of living on salmon in Helsinki. On bad days, i would bitch at him and say horrible things because i thought he didnt want to have kids as much as i do or that he was bias towards the ob-gyn & her recommendations. In fact it was a week of the 'bad days' when i finally thought that something is not quite 'right'.

So far, we had been following what the gynae suggested with the ovu-kit and meds but somehow, by the 1st month or so, i am already trying to adjust my own thinking (including my family's expectation) so that none of us would be too disappointed. By the 2nd month, both me and mook are both pretty strained trying to be nonchalent yet, internally feeling more and more upset with ourselves. It was in the midst of that period of not really sure how to comfort each other and yet having to appear 'normal' that i realized that my menses was overdue. It was only 2 days or so and i didn't want to get my hopes up but somehow, last saturday, when i went to get the refills for the ovu-kit, i just picked up a test kit as well.

I was supposed to be conducting a workshop that saturday but perhaps i just wanted to get the bad news over and done with, i did the test just before the workshop started. I think i nearly fainted when two lines appeared instead of the usual 1 (i am quite accustomed to seeing the single blue line, but two lines? that's something new...) In any case, i did complete the workshop in one piece but it took me one whole day before i could mention it to mook who thought that i ought to do another test a few days later since i had medication for a cold just the day before. We went to get another test kit (with two tests this time, i think we were just a bit KS about this), and despite mook's idea that i should repeat the test 3 days later, i did another one on sunday night and this time round it was a + sign appearing.

Two tests in two days. I doubt panadol could change the result of a preg test and the box did say it shouldnt. Thankfully my gynae had a slot to see me on monday and while she thought that 2 tests cant be wrong, she agreed to do a blood test to confirm it just for my peace of mind. The positive results were confirmed a day later when the doc called me personally. :))) Mook and I told our families over the phone and we had similar reactions, some asked if it was an April Fool's joke. Hahaha, as if we would joke about a thing like that!!

My mom was even better. When i first called her in China, she just told me how she 'already knew' because God has spoken to her and gave her signs. She told me how her prayers had come true. But just a few minutes later after she put down the phone to call my brother (who is in HK) and he commented that i could be pulling an april fool's prank... the faithful one had to call my darling hubby just to confirmed that i am indeed pregnant and not pulling anyone's legs. Mook's dad apparently had the same reaction. But all in all, once we reassured everyone that I am indeed 'knocked up', everyone in the family has been wonderfully happy for us and encouraging.

So yes, mook and i are going to be parents! :))